She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize