Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
