I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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