Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
