And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize