Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize