2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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