sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
