I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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