do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
