You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
