Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
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The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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