the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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