Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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