You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
