tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
