I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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