I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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