Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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