Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
