I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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