i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
