let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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