oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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