I want to make a zoo with you.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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