4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
