Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
