Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize