Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
