There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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