My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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