dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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