I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
