He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
