Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
