So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize