took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize