I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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