What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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