Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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