So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
