the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
