His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I would fuck him just for his dog
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
