dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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