The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
