Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
