I'm jealous of your bromance
My pussy is not your playground.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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