oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
