I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
