i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
