Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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