Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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