I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
