well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wish you could order shots online.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
