how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Naked Twister starts at high noon
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
