just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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