he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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