My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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