Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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